BREATHING DEEPLY

TRAINING, FIGHTING, AND COMPASSION

Some issues have come up recently that I thought I should address. With each group of new students, sometimes things are taken for granted and aren’t discussed. I’ll keep this succinct:

There is a difference between what we do in here and what we may one day need to do out there. Imagine a normal day in here, training. Now imagine the last time you were in a fight, or the last time you saw one happen. They are two very different experiences.

In training, we come here to learn an art, to break down barriers, to be with other people, and connect in a positive way by doing this art together. When we throw punches to each other, we do it generally with a good heart – we intend to assist others in their development. This has immeasurable benefit to our whole being.

In fighting, or self-defense, things are different. The situation is geared toward destruction. When somebody comes to you they don’t have a good heart – they intend to hurt or kill you. They may have a variety of messed up, conflicting emotions, they may want your money or to get to your loved ones, but it boils down to one thing: they intend to cause damage. They aren’t coming at you with very much love. If you can’t avoid this kind of situation (which is usually pretty easy), you’ll have to deal with it. This means confronting all of his [or her] emotions and intention and desire to hurt you, and confronting his physical attack. This is a very serious and ugly situation. There is no fun in this like there is in training. Again, recall the fights you’ve seen or been in. Didn’t it feel pretty disgusting? There is certainly the high of adrenalin, but when it’s over and either they’re hurt or you’re hurt, there’s no joy in that. There’s no patting each other on the back and saying “thanks for the good workout” afterward. One person is going away hurt, maybe to the hospital. If we use San Soo as it was devised, you can almost bet on that. What we are learning in here is potentially devastating. If an aggressor decides to try and hurt one of us, maybe they have it coming to them. But nobody really wins. It’s a lot different than training. Training is fun; it’s one of the best things a person can do for themselves. Fighting is ugly; one person is going home, the other might not ever see home, and there are no guarantees you’ll come out of it okay. The two are just not the same.

So, remember the fundamental difference between the two, training and actually defending yourself. It is something we can easily forget. If you are ever in a potentially dangerous situation, I encourage you to have some character, use some compassion for yourself and the other guy. Have the confidence to be able to walk away from a fight or avoid the situation completely. There’s no need to prove ourselves. We do that in here every day. If you just can’t get away from it then do your best to protect yourself. If you’ve been training for a few years and feel you can protect yourself pretty well (and be honest with yourself, don’t overestimate your ability), you might want to adjust your moves so you don’t hurt him too much. Kick his thigh, not his knee, hit his nose, not his eyes, hit his sternum, not his throat. Of course, do everything you can to defend yourself, for sure, but if self-defense isn’t much of an issue, use a little compassion where it is warranted and as your ability allows; be aware of the effects of your actions.

With solid training over the years, the power to control the situation will eventually lie in your hands. Use it responsibly, for your own peace of mind as well as others’. Use these situations for your own character development. Will you choose to fight or walk confidently away? Take the taunting with a chuckle or throw the guy across the room? If we don’t pay attention to this we’re no better than the common thug, or the hot-headed “street fighter.” Being a part of Kung Fu means having good character, a “high boiling point,” beyond mere fighting ability.

I say that one of the powers we gain by doing San Soo, the power to take a life or give a life, must be balanced by the responsibility to never harm or take a life, unless purely out of self-defense, self-preservation. Even then I question its use.

Ultimately, where you draw the line has to be decided by you alone, and redrawn in each unique, often confusing situation, but if I didn’t bring these issues up and make clear how I felt, I wouldn’t be fulfilling my responsibility as a teacher.

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